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  #1  
Old 07-26-2014, 09:01 PM
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Not sure what to do...

Ok fellas. A lot of you guys have been around block already so I'm gonna ask for some advice. I been dating this girl for close to 2 years now. We've lived together for just over a year. She has been great for the most part and I've fancied the idea of proposing in my head a little. But for the past few months things seem to be turning sour. She has been moody has hell and always criticizing everything I do. Now I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a box of chocolates and I have flaws. But I try everyday to be the best I can. And lately she has been saying things to me that She KNOWS will just press my buttons. It's like she is trying to get me upset. Now I've started a new job and I'm adjusting to the schedule. I work a 14x14. Right now my current 14 hitch is night turn and 12 hour shifts. I have a 3 hour drive round trip so it turns into 15 hour days. She has been complaining that I haven't been doing anything. We'll no duh! I gotta sleep sometime don't I? Anyways I've just been feeling really bad about this lately and it's getting to the point where I don't even want to go home. I have been debating on maybe breaking it off, but not sure I wanna go that far. I've tried talking about it with her and we both say we will compromise. But when I do compromise I don't get the same. She says she will work on it but she doesn't.

She also complains about me being so close with my parents. I always have been and I don't plan on changing that. I'm beginning to wonder if I might be joining the singles thread on here. Lol.

Like tonight we just had a fight while I'm at work! She is complaining that I haven't fixed a leak in 2 tires on her car that just developed a few days ago. I told her I will take it to the tire shop and get them patched when I get to my off days. The tire shop I go to is about 40 min away and it's a buddy of mine so he gives me some pretty steep discounts. She won't take it herself because she is afraid to drive it that far and have a blowout. But as it stands right now I can't get it there without sacrificing almost my entire sleeping time. And I don't want to risk falling asleep at work and lose my job.

Anymore it's like she is 2 different people. She can be awesome one moment and then 5 min later turn into the ***** from hell. It's really starting to wear on me and I'm not sure what to do.


Any insight fellow strokers?

Thanks


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Old 07-26-2014, 09:11 PM
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Remember that dating is just a job interview. If for any reason during the interview you feel that this may not be the right person for the job then it is probably best to keep searching.
If you force the relationship to work and get married you will give 50% of what you own to her. If you have a child you will pay out the nose for at least 18 years.
Sorry man but I vote let her go.
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  #3  
Old 07-26-2014, 09:19 PM
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That is something I been weighing in my head too. What happens if we get divorced? I lose half of everything. I've been leaning more towards letting her go these past few days but I don't want to rush towards a rash decision either.




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Old 07-26-2014, 09:28 PM
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Dating? Sounds like y'all are married. I go through the same kind of thing daily. I can put in 17+ hour day, my wife will be understanding and sepathetic while I'm gone, but not so much the next day. It's like they miss you when your gone but pissy when you're around because you don't do enough the help when you're around.

It's a vicouious cycle, but if you love the girl than it's worth it.... Unless she's cazy.

Does she at least admit she isn't perfect and has a part in things being off balance with y'all?
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Old 07-26-2014, 09:37 PM
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Not sure what to do...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rattlesnake18 View Post
Dating? Sounds like y'all are married. I go through the same kind of thing daily. I can put in 17+ hour day, my wife will be understanding and sepathetic while I'm gone, but not so much the next day. It's like they miss you when your gone but pissy when you're around because you don't do enough the help when you're around.

It's a vicouious cycle, but if you love the girl than it's worth it.... Unless she's cazy.

Does she at least admit she isn't perfect and has a part in things being off balance with y'all?


Most people say we're practically married. Lol.

And no she really doesn't, sometimes she will throw me a bone and say she is sorry for criticizing me, but no admission of being a part of he problem. I know I haven't been the best at times, but I have owned up to my mistakes with her and admitted at times I was at fault (and honestly was). But I can't get the same from her.

I honestly think a part of the problem too is that we moved way to fast with the relationship. Faster than I wanted for sure. I really don't feel like we should have that "married" feeling this soon? She is ready to be married tomorrow if she could and I don't want to get married yet. I think that might be another underlying issue too.


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Last edited by anschutz1913; 07-26-2014 at 09:40 PM.
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Old 07-26-2014, 09:59 PM
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Ok... I understand completely, hell I was 35 when I finally got married. Relationships aren't easy, especially when you are used to doing your own thing and not answering to anybody.

What do YOU truly want out of a relationship? Are you willing to compromise and is she too?

One thing I personally lived by was.... If I was having real doubts than I need to walk away.

Then I realized that walking away wasn't always the best thing.

I could go on and on about the subject right now, but I will just stop for now.

Last edited by Rattlesnake18; 07-26-2014 at 10:18 PM.
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  #7  
Old 07-26-2014, 10:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rattlesnake18 View Post
Ok... I understand completely, hell I was 35 when I finally got married. Relationships aren't easy, especially when you are used to doing your own thing and not answering to anybody.

What do YOU truly want out of a relationship? Are you willing to compromise and is she too?

One thing I personally lived by was.... If I was having real doubts than I need to walk away.

Then I realized that walking away wasn't always the best thing.

I could go on and I about the subject right now, but I will just stop for now.


I just want the relationship to be stable and spend time building a solid foundation. I would like for her to appreciate me a bit more and not take me for granted. I'm willing to compromise and have showed that to her on several occasions. It seems she isn't.

But the doubts part has me genuinely concerned. I've always believed that if there is doubts then most likely it's not going to succeed.



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  #8  
Old 07-29-2014, 09:41 PM
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Well we talked a good but and we both promised to try and work with each other. We'll see how it works. If things go sour again I think I'll be posting in the singles thread again.


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Old 08-03-2014, 04:44 AM
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Being appreciated is tough. Not very many women who are younger appreciate much, honestly. I work and my wife stays home with the kids. Daily I try to remind her what a great job she does blah blah blah. I never get a "thanks for having a job" comment or anything like that. What makes it easier is just not expecting it. I think it's just what men are supposed to do. We suck it up and press forward anyways.
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Old 08-03-2014, 05:27 AM
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I have found out two things about relationships over the years(I'm 48 and divorced twice, single now);

If it doesn't come easy and your not married, putting a ring on her finger will not fix the underlying issues

Life is too short to not be happy

If you just have to have her, get counseling.

I don't believe in marriage any more myself. I have had two wives, both stay at home moms, leave me for other men while I was working. It doesn't take a ring to make a person faithful, they either are or they are not. I will never get married again and I tell every lady I date that on the first date.
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