Now what do i do??

[deere4440]

Originally Posted by SAR Pirate

Take a look at the bolded parts.

It seems it was ok not to see each other when it was convenient for her and when she was doing things for her family; however, it seems to be an issue when you are helping your family/.

Either she's a self centered as she can be (and that's a personality trait that generally won't change my friend ), or she's lying to you!

You mention that the two of you slowed down seeing each other and talking during the time that she was "doing things for her mom" and afterward.

Without being more specific about "what" she was doing, it seems more of a cover for I"m seeing someone else (I've there too my friend). At least she knew what you were doing and where you were doing it, when you couldn't spend time with her. And at least you tried to call her on occasion.

She on the other hand, gave vague and generalized information and didn't (apparently) make much effort to see you.

BTW, does she have a car? Friends with a car? Couldn't she come to at least visit you in the field, to say hi, bring a quick sandwich for lunch and spend a little quality time, even for a few minutes occasionally?

See, those are the things people who really want to see each other do to work around adversity

One final point.

Your last statement concerns me.

Is she possibly bi-polar?

Or, could her side gig have been derailed and she's coming back to safety?

I don't mean to cast dispersion on your lady my friend, but having lived through similar situations over the dating years, and seeing it with friends and family, these "keys" just throw up all sorts of RED FLAGS

Be careful with this one...

To answer your question yes she does have a truck, she really couldn't come visit me out in the field like you said, she lived about an hour away from my house. That could have been a issue, but that was never brought up from her.

And for with her mom, she does have a job with kinda screwy hours. So i could see her mainly on the weekends, but then that stopped cause of what i said before. During the week i might see her once after work, i would drive over to see her. I would do most of the driving, cause i made more money and i didn't want her to waste her gas, diesel is cheaper.

I know she never cheated on me, and no she is not bi-polar.

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Last edited by deere4440 : 10-04-2009 at 06:23 AM.

[deere4440]

Originally Posted by Eric

To the OP, hang in there, the right girl will come along when you least expect it

Thanks man, i know the right one will. Just felt like she was the one, but that backfired on me.

[mrnecsteve]

Originally Posted by deere4440

Maybe some of you guys can help me out, my girlfriend broke up with me tonight because she said i was to busy and didn't pay enough attention to her. Ok here is what i do for a living, i still live at home, only 23. I work at a John Deere dealer that is about 45 min from my house, she lives about and hour and a few min from my house. But she lives in the next town to the one i work in. So you think that would be good enough? She also lives at home to, so it's not like i can stop by whenever i want.

But me and my dad farm, she also told me she didn't like that i spend so much time in the tractor working during the busy season like now, i should be with her and give my full attention to her!

Before we ever started dating i explained to her about this situation, she said that was fine and found it cool that i farmed and wanted to ride in the tractor with me. Well now she has completely turn around on what she said, and tells me she never said that at all.

So what am i suppoused to do, i still love her, i don't want to loose her but apparently she doesn't want me anymore? Do i let it go and be done with her, or do i try to change her mind? Thanks in advance

To hurt the one you love is betrayal....
She has betrayed you by hurting you.
Stop loveing her NOW,in any way shape or form.
No texting,no friendship,no communication ....period.
If the relationship was worth anything at all,it will withstand a test of time.

[deere4440]

Originally Posted by mrnecsteve

To hurt the one you love is betrayal....
She has betrayed you by hurting you.
Stop loveing her NOW,in any way shape or form.
No texting,no friendship,no communication ....period.
If the relationship was worth anything at all,it will withstand a test of time.

I agree with everything you said there, but what do i do if she comes back to her senses and would like to take me back.

[mrnecsteve]

Originally Posted by deere4440

I agree with everything you said there, but what do i do if she comes back to her senses and would like to take me back.

Well....I will tell you this.....only a MATURE woman can tell you what the GF is up to in the first place......
the gf could be testing the water
the gf could be testing YOU
the gf could be interested in another guy
the gf could be hoping for marriage....
the gf could be just testing the relationship....
before you get angry at her....think of this :almost every LONG term relationship that I have known about.....has gone thru at least one breakup.
Avoid the drama...just keep on haveing faith in yourself....she will be back...or she wont.

[SAR Pirate]

Originally Posted by deere4440

To answer your question yes she does have a truck, she really couldn't come visit me out in the field like you said, she lived about an hour away from my house. That could have been a issue, but that was never brought up from her.And for with her mom, she does have a job with kinda screwy hours. So i could see her mainly on the weekends, but then that stopped cause of what i said before. During the week i might see her once after work, i would drive over to see her. I would do most of the driving, cause i made more money and i didn't want her to waste her gas, diesel is cheaper.I know she never cheated on me, and no she is not bi-polar.

I'm having trouble reading your posts but if I read it right, she has a truck, lived an hour away and dodn't want to make the drive? I'm not sure where you are but here, diesel is still more expensive than gas.You're working rediculous hours between the shop and the fields and she can't drive to see you once in a while? WTF is with that?

And for with her mom, she does have a job with kinda screwy hours. So i could see her mainly on the weekends, but then that stopped cause of what i said before

Is it your girlfriend or her mom that has the screwy hours?As for the last part...if you're confident of that, thenPersonally, I've seen it too many times to be that sure

[SAR Pirate]

Originally Posted by deere4440

I agree with everything you said there, but what do i do if she comes back to her senses and would like to take me back.

Dude, you're not a puppy.....

If you want justification, I can't help you.

If it were me, and I wanted the relationship to last, we'd be having a log sit down about now and get everything out on the table.

Current work schedules, future plans, feelings, emotions,...everything!

Air it out now and be done with it. Otherwise, it festers and that's not good for a relationship.

It can't be all about her and her want's. It MUST be about compromise...or it will never last.

Best of luck my young friend. Glad I'm not in that boat any longer.

[RRonning1984]

Let her go dude. Like Hank said, there are girls out there that understand the farming life and you would likely be more happy with!

[Dimitri]

Originally Posted by Eric

I'm gonna have to disagree with them all being like that. Alot are but not all

If you keep your expectations low, its less likely for disappointment. And since so far in my dating life this seems to be the case. I have convinced myself all girls are the same, so I don't get into the relationship as much as I used to. I don't get bothered by the girlfriends mind games, cheating or otherwise as I end the relationship right there and then.

And I know what your going to say "it can be the types of girls you go after", nope, from church going good girls, to out every night party girls, to single mothers, they are all this way. Doesn't matter if they are 17 or 35 either. I had one girl that was not like this, but she and me didn't work out for other reasons.

Originally Posted by mrnecsteve

the gf could be testing the water
the gf could be testing YOU
the gf could be interested in another guy
the gf could be hoping for marriage....
the gf could be just testing the relationship....
before you get angry at her....think of this

So more mind games from a girl. In my experience the more a girl is trying to test a guy the more she ends up doing it just to hide her own insecurity because shes been thinking about another guy, or worse and already started seeing him on the side.

Dimitri

[Gear Jammer]

Keep your head up man..

I'm only 2 years older then you and me and my girl are going threw some real hard times right now. I think before its over with i will also be single. But i kinda seen this coming in the past couple months. I just feel i wasted 2.5 years with her when i could have spent it with the girl I'm going to marry.