Actual letter to the Canadian Passport Office

ruger#1 · #1 (**permalink**) 08-30-2009, 12:13 AM

Actual letter to the Canadian Passport OfficeDear Mr. Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows
that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal
Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have on my social insurance card, and it is on all the
income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health
insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn passports
I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out
before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those
insufferable census forms that are done at election times.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is
Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that
ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

****!

I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you
an' me, I've had enough of this bull****! You send the application to my
house, then you ask me for my ****in' address. What is going on? You have a
gang of Neanderthals *******s workin' there!

Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up
Yasser Arafat, for **** sakes. I just want to go and park my *** on a sandy
beach.

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a **** whether I plan
on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do
something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not
want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and
get another ****in' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60!!!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to
assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??

Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us
running all over the ****in' place like chickens with our heads cut off,
then find some ******* to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture
- you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (****in'
morons)

Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!

Signed - An Irate ****ing Canadian Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to
confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776.
I have served
in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances
up the yingyang.

I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our province for ten years
and I have been doing volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years.

However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know,
someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST ****ing CHINA !!!

alwil · #2 (**permalink**) 08-30-2009, 12:32 AM

aint that the truth

**bockhold** · #3 (**permalink**) 08-30-2009, 12:32 AM

i like the letter!

we could use a ver of that to our fked up gov

**Hank** · #4 (**permalink**) 08-30-2009, 03:45 AM

Man that is funny! I live in a rural community in upstate SC and was amazed that I could drop by the little PO next to the gas station and apply for my passport. They even took my picture there. A week later it came in the mail followed by my original birth certificate.

Guess I was one of the lucky ones!

USA! USA! USA!