AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES - Ford Powerstroke Diesel Forum
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  #1  
Old 05-21-2008, 10:45 AM
I have excessive flatulance!!
 
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AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF
BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE
WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.

2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES
BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES
WHILE YOU CHOP.

3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET
SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND
BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR
VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT
YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT
THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF
LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT
DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE
AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.

9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD
FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE
WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
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  #2  
Old 05-21-2008, 10:51 AM
duct tape & zip ties

 

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Thats funny man.

But if I only have the two tools needed. Duct tape and wd-40, then where do I get the hammer.
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  #3  
Old 05-21-2008, 10:55 AM
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that funny i like #3
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  #4  
Old 05-21-2008, 11:13 AM
Let's go B's!!!!

 

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That's funny man...#6 is a little scary
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  #5  
Old 05-21-2008, 11:37 AM
Banned

 

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Sometimes I think my problems are bigger than most peoples....so I bought this.....lol

This is a real MAN's duct tape!


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  #6  
Old 05-21-2008, 02:32 PM
I have excessive flatulance!!
 
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yea I thought people would get a kick out of these...
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