Sleeping advice

[95dieselsmoke]

I'm turning to you guys since I am at a loss of knowledge on this one.

Heres the scenario... I have a long time freind that enlsisted in the Army just out of high School(2001). Since he has been in the armed forces he has served two tours over seas. While he was over there his what was then fiance and new born have long moved on and have severed all contact with him. He contacted me around September 09 and let me know of his situation and to also let me know that he was returning home in mid November with an honorable discharge because he served his time and was moving on with his life and pursuing his fire fighting career as he had always planned. He let me know about his situation with his ex fiance and told me he had no where to go, so naturally I welcomed him into my house and gave him a place to call home...I figured it was the least I could do. Since returning home he is still the same old freind I had always remembered. Only problem is that the guy is up all hours of the night...cant seem to sleep and when he does it is only for a few hours at a time(from 3am-6am). Now, this doesnt bother me at all because he is quiet and keeps to himself, but I find recently that I am losing sleep over this because I am wondering what I cant do to help him (he has mentioned he wishes he could sleep more). So this is where I need your help everyone... Is he losing sleep because of the war he was in and what he saw over there while serving? Is he losing sleep because of coming home to a broken up family? My girlfreind says I should leave him be due to the fact that we dont know how he would react to us giving him advice/help. I would love to help him but he doesnt talk about being overseas so I dont ask. Is there a subtle way to ask/talk about a way that I may be able to help or should I leave it alone? He is a great guy and I dont like seeing him like this. I imagine there is some kind of post war support group for cases just like this but how do I bring it up? I know you guys are here to help and have many great ideas... It would be great if you guys could give me any ideas of what I can do to help my freind. Thanks in advance.

[ianstew]

Talk to him. be up front with him and ask if their is anyhitng you can do to help. this site has some good information in it. Support Your Vet

[GreenF350]

Hard to say...I would say it wouldn't hurt to be up front about it. If he is a good friend he should understand. Could be any or all of the above, could be completely unrelated to either. Sorry I can't be more help. I'm not the greatest with stuff like that either....lol
-Aaron

one thing to remember... he was overseas in battle... he was always ready for action... he probably went days with out sleep MANY times... his body got used to this and thus doesnt require the amount of sleep that others do... its just like this... if you go SEVERAL months on only getting 3-4 hours of sleep... your body gets used to it and you cant sleep. now there could also be other things going on to light nightmares... or his brain just cant shut down from his training... remember he isnt a "normal" person anymore... he has been trained to be a cirten way... that just doesnt change back to normal overnite... i have seen people take several years to get back in to the "civilian" life.

[95dieselsmoke]

Thanks everyone. Its great to know you guys agree that I should talk to him about it. He is a great freind and I know he will listen and understand why I am concerned. I never thought about him being awake may just be normal to him because of his training and what not. Are there any military members here that have had a similar problem after returning home?

[westcoaststrokin]

Talk to him about it. That being said when I am at sea I usually only sleep a couple hours at a pop and that carries over for a few weeks when I get back. That is only after a few months I could only imagine how hard it would be to get back into a normal pattern after two tours.

[kingchip]

The next time he mentions that he wishes he could sleep more, I would grab the opportunity to get him to talk.

[95dieselsmoke]

Originally Posted by westcoaststrokin

Talk to him about it. That being said when I am at sea I usually only sleep a couple hours at a pop and that carries over for a few weeks when I get back. That is only after a few months I could only imagine how hard it would be to get back into a normal pattern after two tours.

Thanks Josh, I am hoping he is just used to little or no sleep and thats why he is like this. I just hate to think the worst and the guy is losing sleep because he has mental issues or something because of what he has been through.

Originally Posted by kingchip

The next time he mentions that he wishes he could sleep more, I would grab the opportunity to get him to talk.

This is great advice. I think I will do what you suggest and wait for him to bring it up and go from there. Since he has mentioned it before I am sure it is bothering him. Thanks.