Since everyone else is too chicken to tell their dumb stories, here's another from the halls of Tommycat's stupidity.
Back in high school, me and a friend of mine used to build motors for people. We'd built several race motors, and it was time to get my old F100 back to good running condition. It was missing on 4 cylinders, and leaking oil into the 4 it was firing on. Pretty much meant head and valves at a minimum, but we figured on just doing a compete overhaul. So we tore it down, and made sure to mark everything, and we really made short work of it. I worked the top, he worked the bottom, and in less than an hour we had the motor out. It kinda helped that those old Fords gave us enough room to work. We knew what we were doing, so saving bolts wasn't a big deal to us.
Air tools made tearing the motor apart a sinche as well. In a little over another hour, with me working one side and him working the other we had the heads off, and the old pistons clear. The problem was 6 cracked valves, a cracked head, and nearly every ring had a small crack as well. Good thing we tore the whole thing apart. The bearings were in great shape which was a relief for us. The cam was pretty worn, but could have still been used if we weren't switching to a roller cam.
Another 3 hours and we had the motor mostly back together. We opted for new heads, and new distributor. Everything was set to 0 degrees, and the only issue we had was the rotor that came with it was damaged from shipping. so we sent his mom to get a new one, and we finished up the install. His mom came back while we finished up the wiring, and we figured it was getting too dark to work, and we'd finish everything up in the morning, as we couldn't hardly see the wire colors anymore.
The next day we finished up the wiring, and fired it up... well tried to anyway. No matter what we did it just wouldn't fire. We even swapped the wires on the cap 180º to see if we had it 180 out. Not a damn thing. His mom comes out because she hears us cussing and fussing and says "Calm down! What's the matter."
He says, "we tried everything and this damn thing won't start."
She looks at the mess we made, yanks the wires off the cap, opens the cap and puts the brand new rotor that she bought in place, and puts the wires back on the cap in the right order. Then she walks around to the driver's door reaches in and turns the key. Purred like a kitten.
Then there was me and my buddy on the driveway