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  #1  
Old 06-01-2009, 08:42 AM
Rob Rob is offline
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Alcohol

Alcohol



Due to increasing products liability litigation, American Liquor Manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all bottles and cans:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends leave.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the heck happened to your pants.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other people around you without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting pulverized.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol will make you believe that you are tougher, smarter, faster and more handsome than some really, really big guy named TINY.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
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  #2  
Old 06-01-2009, 08:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rwalker View Post
Alcohol



Due to increasing products liability litigation, American Liquor Manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all bottles and cans:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends leave.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the heck happened to your pants.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other people around you without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting pulverized.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol will make you believe that you are tougher, smarter, faster and more handsome than some really, really big guy named TINY.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
i can relate to alot of them
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  #3  
Old 06-01-2009, 08:56 AM
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thats funny right there......
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Old 06-01-2009, 09:01 AM
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So since they are gonna be puttin all those warnings on the bottles does that mean bigger bottles/cans and more alcohol
















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  #5  
Old 06-01-2009, 09:06 AM
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Well the plus side is they will have to make beer bottles and cans bigger to fit all that text on them. I'm guilty of a few of them.
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Old 06-01-2009, 09:06 AM
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Tyler






































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  #7  
Old 06-01-2009, 09:33 AM
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Thats funny right there
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  #8  
Old 06-01-2009, 10:52 AM
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sounds about right
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  #9  
Old 06-01-2009, 11:02 AM
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lol. totally right.
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