Going To Heaven
Father Murphy goes into a local bar in Dublin and approaches the first man he
sees. "Do you want to go to Heaven?" he asks and the man says, "Indeed I do,
Father." "Then for God's sake," commands the priest, "leave this pub right now."
He then goes to the next man, "Do you want to go to Heaven, my son?" And the man
answers, "Yes Father, indeed I want to do that very thing." "Then ye must get
out of this pub right now!" orders the priest.
Father Murphy continues this throughout the pub until he comes to the last
man. "Do you want to go to Heaven, man?!" exhorts the priest. The man looks at
his half-full beer, turns, looks at Father Murphy and says, "No, I don’t,
Father." "You mean to tell me, young man, that when you die, you don't want to
go to Heaven?" asks the priest incredulously. "Oh, well, when I die, yes Father,
I certainly do. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now!"