because im a man!!

[Lowdown89]

* Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling a garage is not an option. I will win.
* Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start.' We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of Holy Communion.
* Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
* Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
* Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
* Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator instead (applies to engineers only).
* Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't . . . and if you are feeling amorous afterwards ... then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
* Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine.. It does not make your rear look too big. It was the pasta and potatoes and Margaritas that did that. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
* Because I'm a man, and this is after all, the year 2009, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest; like wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.

[taylorking]

haha thats pretty good

[GoFastPadre]

AWESOME!!!! I resemble EVERY one of those remarks!!!

[POWERED SPARKLESS]

Becasue I'm a man, I will read and have hot coffee shoot out my nose.

[stump0331]

that sounds awful familiar

[Ryan Rønning]

Hey, that sounds like me!

[superxcrewfx4]

lol I can maybe use half of those but I am not the entire thing, I do clean alot.

ok well then,

Note to self: DONT LET THE WIFE READ THAT

[Ryan Rønning]

Wife thought it was hilarious!

[NIT2WN]

She'll be ok. I will get groceries with a detailed list from her. I have worked on the washer before but she didn't like the results. I easily repaired it, I just removed all the nanny gadgets like the one where it won't agitate with the lid up.[We don't have kids and it's shut up in a separate room where it can't be gotten to by small kids anyway.] She literally doesn't do anything outside in the yard. Does me a favor because of no flowers to cut around. I'll help with laundry by folding it, and I'll cook with the microwave. We have an understanding that the yard and cars [6] are mine and the house is hers. I have gotten her to go get her oil and filter with the groceries and just hand it to me when she needs her oil changed. I probably do more housework that that but she's a school teacher and always has tons of test and essays to grade so I try to help her out.