This is funny

[Ryan Rønning]

Airline Humor!


It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school
diploma to fix one: a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in
our jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form,
and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' Pilots
(marked with a P) and the Solutions Recorded (marked with an S) By
Maintenance Engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in ****pit.
S: Something tightened in ****pit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per
minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in ****pit.
S: Cat installed.

And The Best One For Last !!

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget!!

[06F250FX4]

Man I have been looking for my hammer

[Jake]

Those are funny.

[Ryan Rønning]

Wife found it somewhere!

[mudrunninpig]

[powerstokeguy5245]

hahahaha i love the last one

[JakeLewis79]

I had to forward this to my pilot buddy in the AF.

[6point0damn2004]

Originally Posted by RRonning1984

Airline Humor!


It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school
diploma to fix one: a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in
our jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form,
and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' Pilots
(marked with a P) and the Solutions Recorded (marked with an S) By
Maintenance Engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in ****pit.
S: Something tightened in ****pit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per
minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in ****pit.
S: Cat installed.

And The Best One For Last !!

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget!!

THAT IS AWESOME

[WSStucker]

I need that one this morning. TGIF

[Ryan Rønning]

Bumping this up!