Ok, so I have a neighbor that takes care of three of his grand kids because their father is a POS. So I try to help them through life with friendly advise and I have also taken them hunting and road trips and stuff like that. They are all 3 teenagers and I just try to be a good influence in their lives.
One of them comes over on Sat and starts telling me about his escapade that ended with him tagging a cougar. So I started to harass...ummmm...inquire as to how this 19 yr old very immature child accomplished this. He kept saying "I dunno" to everything I asked so my next logical question was, "do you remember anything?". He replies without skipping a beat "Man, all I remember is she had more tattoos than I have.......and that shat's embarrassing!"
After I picked myself up off the ground and eventually stopped laughing I started asking some serious questions. I asked if he was worried about STD's and getting her pregnant. He replied and I swear on my mothers grave this is a direct quote from him. He said "I'm not worried about that shat. A long time ago this old man told me how to check for that. You lick your finger, stick it in your ear and get some ear wax on it and then stick it her glory hole and if she jumps you don't want any of it!"
I swear this is a true story and it just happened this weekend