Funny Quotes Thread

[Justinlw]

Was looking for some funny quotes or one liners for this weekend's trip. Show me what you've got!

"At night when the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris."

[cstroke69cpy3]

an oldie but goodie

I wish i was born rich instead of well hung..

[MrJohnWayne]

Originally Posted by cstroke69cpy3

an oldie but goodie

I wish i was born rich instead of well hung..

hahaha Have never heard that one

[drstephennix]

When you go to the wal-mart or a convenience store and fill up.....then you go to the window to pay and they tell you how much it is...you can tell them
"Man! That's higher than giraffe p***y!" And just watch their faces....its hilarious!! But if you dont have a dirty mind sometimes....this one aint for you

[Mike6176]

Shining like a diamond in a goat's arse.

Cow p!ss!ing on a flat rock.

That's what I like about them high school girls, I get older, they stay the same age. - Wooderson, Dazed and Confused.

[Mike6176]

Originally Posted by drstephennix

When you go to the wal-mart or a convenience store and fill up.....then you go to the window to pay and they tell you how much it is...you can tell them
"Man! That's higher than giraffe p***y!" And just watch their faces....its hilarious!! But if you dont have a dirty mind sometimes....this one aint for you

You can substitue eagle for giraffe as well and you get some looks.

[dercody]

Busier that a peg legged man in an a@@ kicking contest or

Busier than a 3 legged cat trying to cover up s*** with a broken paw.

[Mike6176]

Madder than the skinheads watching the Jeffersons - Larry the Cable Guy

[Clay Henry]

wind as a sack full of azzholes

[Justinlw]

Smells like open @$$ in front of a fan.