Some truth here? - Ford Powerstroke Diesel Forum
Humor Jokes, Darwin Awards, Funny Vids and Pics - Keep 'em within the Powerstroke.org conduct

Powerstroke.org is the premier Diesel Truck Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-03-2008, 08:22 AM
rdc rdc is offline
Grumpy Non-Socialist

 

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Lexington, OK
Posts: 2,623
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Lightbulb Some truth here?

A Condensed Version of History



For those who slept through World History 101...... here is a condensed version.



Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.



The two most important events in all of history were:



1. The invention of beer, and



2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer, and the beer to the man.



These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:



1. Liberals



2. Conservatives.



Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.



Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B B Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.



Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.



Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.



Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution of the Hollywood actor, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide all the meat and beer that conservatives provided.



Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.



Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.



Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.



Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained inEurope when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.



Here ends today's lesson in world history.......



It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.



A conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers, and to more liberals...just to piss them off.



'AMEN'
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #2  
Old 04-03-2008, 08:27 AM
Conservative and Proud


 

Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Oregon
Posts: 14,472
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
OMG TFF!!!!!!!!

Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #3  
Old 04-03-2008, 08:28 AM
Infidel

 

Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,166
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Truer words couldn't be spoken / written. RDC, I am stealing a piece of this to put in my signature, hope you don't mind.
Craig
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #4  
Old 04-03-2008, 08:33 AM
Emergency Services
 

Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Brazoria,TX
Posts: 447
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
That's good stuff!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #5  
Old 04-03-2008, 08:45 AM
rdc rdc is offline
Grumpy Non-Socialist

 

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Lexington, OK
Posts: 2,623
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappeetxnR.N. View Post
Truer words couldn't be spoken / written. RDC, I am stealing a piece of this to put in my signature, hope you don't mind.
Craig
Not at all. I didn't write this, I just recognized the truth in it and forwarded it! (Also thought it was pretty funny!)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #6  
Old 04-03-2008, 08:51 AM
<--Chicks Machine

 

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Middletown, Delaware
Posts: 230
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Send a message via AIM to Anthony2447
i knew beer was important but i dindt know mankind was created around it
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #7  
Old 04-28-2008, 01:09 AM
Compression Ignition Addict
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: lewiston, Id.
Posts: 5,008
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Feedback Score: 1 reviews
stupid libs.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Ford Powerstroke Diesel Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 02:08 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.1
Garage Plus, Vendor Tools vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.

vB.Sponsors