Dam Beavers - Ford Powerstroke Diesel Forum
Humor Jokes, Darwin Awards, Funny Vids and Pics - Keep 'em within the Powerstroke.org conduct

Powerstroke.org is the premier Diesel Truck Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 03-12-2008, 05:37 AM
Premium Member
 

Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Secor Illinois
Posts: 814
Thanks: 1
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Talking Dam Beavers

I brought this over from another forum I am on and had to share with you. I will warn you, I was misty eyed toward the end of this so be warned!!


LEAVE IT UP TO A GOVERNMENT AGENCY, ENJOY


The Dam


This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on his property. It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania . This guy's response is hilarious, but read State's letter before you get to the response letter.



SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.


A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.


The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2006.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action..
We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,

David L. Price
District Representative and Water Management Division.


Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:


Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

Dear Mr. Price,

Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane , Trout Run, Pennsylvania .

A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials "debris."

I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.



These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking. As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.

My first dam question to you is:

(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or

(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?

If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued.

(Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.)

I have several concerns. My first concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names.

If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2006? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality, health, problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! The bears are not careful where they dump!

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

THANK YOU,

RYAN DEVRIES
& THE DAM BEAVERS

You all have a dam nice day!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #2  
Old 03-12-2008, 05:44 AM
Compression Ignition Addict
 

Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 1,257
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
DAM! dam dam dam dam
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #3  
Old 03-12-2008, 05:44 AM
Compression Ignition Addict
 

Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: hermiston,oregon
Posts: 180
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
just shows you how our state govt spends their money. GO BEAVERS!!!!!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #4  
Old 03-12-2008, 05:50 AM
Is it even worth it???



 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Lex KY
Posts: 9,093
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Send a message via AIM to ABOBB Send a message via Yahoo to ABOBB
I've read this one before.. but it always brings a smile to my face!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #5  
Old 03-12-2008, 06:08 AM
Premium Member
 

Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Shawnee, OK
Posts: 4,938
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
haha, dam thats awesome
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #6  
Old 03-12-2008, 06:17 AM
Compression Ignition Addict
 

Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Musella, Ga
Posts: 1,462
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
That's good dam stuff!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #7  
Old 03-12-2008, 06:32 AM
Compression Ignition Addict
 

Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 277
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Thats great
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #8  
Old 03-12-2008, 06:57 AM
Compression Ignition Addict
 

Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 412
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
I sent this to my friend that works for Florida's dam DEP.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #9  
Old 03-12-2008, 07:26 AM
Compression Ignition Addict
 

Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Lexington, Kentucky
Posts: 409
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Send a message via AIM to cowboymafia
haha that was pretty dam funny
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #10  
Old 03-12-2008, 11:24 AM
AJF AJF is offline
Compression Ignition Addict
 

Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Papillion Nebraska
Posts: 1,533
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
That made my day better lol. Thanks!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Ford Powerstroke Diesel Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 08:22 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.1
Garage Plus, Vendor Tools vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.

vB.Sponsors