Getting Divorced....... - Ford Powerstroke Diesel Forum
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post #1 of 11 Old 03-04-2008, 07:01 AM Thread Starter
Thats Mr. Oil Leak.....

 
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Getting Divorced.......

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.
You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything.
Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your Ex-wife

_____


Dear Ex-wife:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.
I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.

So, when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica .
But, when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason I guess.
I hope you have the filling life you always wanted.
My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed,
Rich As Hell and Free!

John Wayne

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post #2 of 11 Old 03-04-2008, 07:11 AM
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post #3 of 11 Old 03-04-2008, 07:23 AM
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THATS GOOD STUFF!

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post #4 of 11 Old 03-04-2008, 07:40 AM
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post #5 of 11 Old 03-04-2008, 07:49 AM
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post #6 of 11 Old 03-04-2008, 07:57 AM
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That was funny!!!!

Mark
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post #7 of 11 Old 03-04-2008, 08:00 AM
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Thats awesome

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post #8 of 11 Old 03-04-2008, 08:04 AM
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That just made my day. That's one of the funniest things I've ever read, WOW.
That guy'd be like lol!

Old Truck: 00 F350 XLT DRW: basic first few mods. S&B, 4" straight pipe, gauges, CCV, EBPV and Wastegate line deletes, LED Sills, sweet custom headlights, smoked cab lights, Ventshades, Tint.
Traded in at 196k miles.

"Brand Newish" Truck: 02 Chevy S10 2.2L 5sp. Reg cab 4x2. Badass custom made shifter, foglights, 20% tint, AVS Vent-shades, Stock Intake mods, Electric Fan conversion .
~ 95k miles.
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post #9 of 11 Old 03-04-2008, 08:40 AM
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I have heard it b4 but still very very funny

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post #10 of 11 Old 03-04-2008, 08:53 AM
Serving Our Country!
 
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Way to get the day rolling

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