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Old 04-24-2013, 01:46 PM
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Redneck Logic

A redneck with a bucket full of live fish, was approached recently by a game warden in Texas as he started to drive his boat away from a lake. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?" "Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish!?!?"
"Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home."
"What a line of baloney....you're under arrest."
The redneck said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment man. I'll show ya!
We do this all the time!!"
"WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!"
The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?"
"Well, WHUT?" said the redneck.
The warden asked, "When are you going to call em back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH," replied the warden!
"Whut fish?" asked the redneck.

MORAL OF THE STORY:
We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.
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Old 04-24-2013, 01:49 PM
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It all makes perfect sense to me now!

I become confused when I hear the word”Service”used with these agencies:

Internal Revenue ‘Service’

US Postal ‘Service’

Telephone ‘Service’

Cable TV ‘Service’

Civil ‘Service’

Federal, State, City, & public ‘Service’

Customer ‘Service’

……..I wasn’t sure what ‘Service’ meant.

But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to ‘Service’ a few cows.

BAM!!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us.
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Old 04-24-2013, 01:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PWR MAD View Post
A redneck with a bucket full of live fish, was approached recently by a game warden in Texas as he started to drive his boat away from a lake. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?" "Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish!?!?"
"Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home."
"What a line of baloney....you're under arrest."
The redneck said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment man. I'll show ya!
We do this all the time!!"
"WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!"
The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?"
"Well, WHUT?" said the redneck.
The warden asked, "When are you going to call em back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH," replied the warden!
"Whut fish?" asked the redneck.

MORAL OF THE STORY:
We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.
dude that is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
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  #4  
Old 04-24-2013, 01:50 PM
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LOL, I thought so too
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  #5  
Old 04-24-2013, 01:52 PM
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No Bull?

A couple go to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, and are watching the auctioning off of reproduction bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off:

A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year.
The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, and comments: See! That was more than 5 times a month!

The second bull is to be sold: Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year.
Again the wife bugs her husband: Hey, that's some 10 times a month. What do YOU say to that?!
Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.

The third bull is up for sale: And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 360 times last year!
The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells: That's once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?!

The husband was pretty irritated by now, and yells back: Sure, once a day! But ask the announcer if they were all with the same cow!
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