Husband's Divorce Letter - Ford Powerstroke Diesel Forum
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post #1 of 17 Old 01-26-2008, 11:02 AM Thread Starter
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Husband's Divorce Letter

Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

> > > >
Dear Ex-Husband - Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I Didn't comment ... And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price Tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for ten million Dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free! P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem

Jason
2006 F250 2wd 6.0 psd, 8.96 1/8th mile with canned SCT tunes, now running Spartan Hybrid Race tune! AFE Stage 2 PRO DRY S, 4" turbo back str8 pipe in front of rear tire, auto, crew cab short bed, ZOO DAD mod, 5% tint over the factory tint.
Track Times!
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Reaction---.674
60 ft-------1.892
594 ft------8.370
1/8th ET---8.965
1/8th MPH--75.63

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post #2 of 17 Old 01-26-2008, 11:08 AM
Other vehicle is an F250
 
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Dang Man!

Now that right there is funny.....I don't care who you are!

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Stage 1 Injectors ~ HankDaddy
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post #3 of 17 Old 01-26-2008, 11:10 AM
Doesn't Even Care


 
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Oh my Gawd thats funny!!! LOL!!

Nick
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post #4 of 17 Old 01-26-2008, 11:14 AM
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thats a good one!!!


Audentes Fortuna Juvat
(Fortune Favors The Bold)

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post #5 of 17 Old 01-26-2008, 11:17 AM
Don't mind me



 
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That is funny!

Josh

04 F350 CC SB DRW IT HAS SOME STUFF
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"Idiopathic, from the Latin meaning we're idiots cause we can't figure out what's causing it." House M.D.

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post #6 of 17 Old 01-26-2008, 11:35 AM
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I was wondering where that was going, that was freakin hysterical!!

Eric
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Truck- 12.51sec @ 108mph @ ~7700lbs (1/4 mi)
Cooler- 39.93sec @ 12.12mph @ ~180lbs (1/8 mi)

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post #7 of 17 Old 01-26-2008, 11:38 AM
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post #8 of 17 Old 01-26-2008, 11:40 AM
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Well I don't think it's funny at all.


Pffftt!! Yeah I do!
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post #9 of 17 Old 01-26-2008, 11:53 AM
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thats gonna prob happen to me someday

-Wes-



No truck anymore.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dlonno View Post
Having the Looney and running the Eco is like having 2 girlfriends and choosing to bang the ugly one.
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post #10 of 17 Old 01-26-2008, 11:56 AM
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good one cjfoley

studs,egr delete(sinister),dieselsite coolant filter, nuc oil bypass, dj's fuel + regulated fuel return, sct by eric, 4in silverline no cat, isspro gauges, cat elc coolant, hids, lots of other odds and ends......
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