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  #1  
Old 01-25-2008, 11:26 AM
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Redneck security system

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's work boots, used, size 14-16.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of "Guns & Ammo" magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads,

Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim:

I went for more shotgun shells and to pick my check up from the slaughterhouse. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. Don't know what got into them, but they got after the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer was in on it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait out here on the porch.

~Cooter
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  #2  
Old 01-31-2008, 11:18 AM
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we have a sign that says ' NOTIS Trepespasers'll ne percekuted by 2 mingrel hounds that don't like strangers 'n a 2 barelshotgun loded fer truble. dam if I aint gettin tired of this hell raisin on my place' I should put it on the mailbox but I don't want the sign swiped!
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Old 01-31-2008, 11:27 AM
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Originally Posted by anniejrt View Post
we have a sign that says ' NOTIS Trepespasers'll ne percekuted by 2 mingrel hounds that don't like strangers 'n a 2 barelshotgun loded fer truble. dam if I aint gettin tired of this hell raisin on my place' I should put it on the mailbox but I don't want the sign swiped!
I like that
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Old 01-31-2008, 11:28 AM
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Nice!

I'm not sure how many of y'all were around the forum a few years ago when some azzhat decided to try and break into my house. Anyway he didn't get in but destroyed my back door so while I was installing my surveillance system to compliment my alarm system I got me a dog.....well three of them to be exact. Well I say "got", maybe downloaded them is more the correct term. I loaded them on one of my servers, cranked it up when we would leave the house and put it into a loop. There you have it, three mean sounding dogs barking in my house. And no POOP to clean up!
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  #5  
Old 01-31-2008, 11:29 AM
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awesome
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Old 01-31-2008, 11:40 AM
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Nice!

I'm not sure how many of y'all were around the forum a few years ago when some azzhat decided to try and break into my house. Anyway he didn't get in but destroyed my back door so while I was installing my surveillance system to compliment my alarm system I got me a dog.....well three of them to be exact. Well I say "got", maybe downloaded them is more the correct term. I loaded them on one of my servers, cranked it up when we would leave the house and put it into a loop. There you have it, three mean sounding dogs barking in my house. And no POOP to clean up!
Man if I could only convince the wife that would be the way to go,
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Old 02-03-2008, 01:10 AM
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that would be almost as fun as rigging speakers outside your house that come on trigered by motion sensors... poor burglar would chit him self if he thought a big dog was comin after him.
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  #8  
Old 02-03-2008, 03:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Rodslinger View Post
Nice!

I'm not sure how many of y'all were around the forum a few years ago when some azzhat decided to try and break into my house. Anyway he didn't get in but destroyed my back door so while I was installing my surveillance system to compliment my alarm system I got me a dog.....well three of them to be exact. Well I say "got", maybe downloaded them is more the correct term. I loaded them on one of my servers, cranked it up when we would leave the house and put it into a loop. There you have it, three mean sounding dogs barking in my house. And no POOP to clean up!
Wonder if a similar setup would keep 'em from breaking into our trucks? Might work with dark tinted windows!
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  #9  
Old 02-03-2008, 05:47 AM
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Haha that's funny. Or you could pull the "Home Alone" scenario and record some gunfire. That would send em packin!!
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Old 02-03-2008, 05:57 AM
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Gotta love it. We have been fortunate enough not to have people try to break in, but have had some pull off the highway into the yard before. Kinda funny watchin a bunch of drunks all try to fit through the door of a limo at the same time after you rack the slide on a Ruger....lol. I love the dogs barking Alan.....thats great.
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