Join Date: May 2007
Location: Georgetown, Ontario, Canada
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The Winter Story
Seeing as how we got our first 6 inches of snow last night, I thought I'd dig out this touching story.
A Winter Story
Dec 4th 5:00 pm. It started to snow. The first of the season and the wife & I took our hot buttered rum and sat by the windows, watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful.
Dec 9th We awoke to a big beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years, and I loved it. I did both our driveway and our sidewalk. Later, the snowplow came along the street and covered up the end of our driveway with compacted snow from the rest of the street. The snowplow driver smiles and I waved back. I shoveled it again.
Dec 13th The sun has melted most of our lovely snow. Oh well, I’m sure we’ll get a little more before this lovely winter is through.
Dec 14th It snowed 8 inches last night and the temperature dropped to below zero. I shoveled the sidewalk and the driveway again. Shortly after, the snowplow came by and did his trick!
Dec 15th Sold our car and bought a 4x4 so we could get around in the snow. I also bought snow tires for the pick-up.
Dec 18th Fell on my a$$ on the ice on the driveway. $125 to the chiropractor but nothing was broken, thankfully. The damn sky is getting dark again!
Dec 19th Still cold (-5 this a.m.), icy roads, making for very tough driving. I slid into a guard rail with my wife’s car. Probably did $2,000 damage. She’s all pissed off.
Dec 20th Had another 14 inches of the white stuff last night. More shoveling in store for me today. That damned snowplow came by twice!
Dec 22nd We are assured of a White Christmas because another 7 inches of the white stuff fell today and with this freezing weather, it won’t melt till August! I got all dressed up to go out and shovel that stuff again (boots, jump suit, jacket, scarf, earmuffs, gloves, etc.) then I got the urge to pee!
Dec 24th If I ever catch the son-of-a-gun that drives that snowplow, I’ll drag him through the snow by his nuts! I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street at 100 mph and throws that white stuff everywhere.
Dec 25th Merry Christmas!! They predict 12 more inches of the white stuff tonight. Does anyone know how many shovelfuls of snow 12 inches is? To hell with Santa, he doesn’t have to shovel that white stuff. The snowplow guy came by asking for a donation; I hit him with my snow shovel. The doctors think he’ll live.
Dec 28th We got 11 more inches! I must be going snow blind or have a severe case of depression because the wife is starting to look good to me.
Dec 29th The toilet froze and the roof is starting to cave in from the weight of snow. If you go outside, don’t eat the yellow snow!
Dec 30th I torched the house and I’m moving the hell out of here to Florida!!!