A man boards an airliner, takes his seat, and is surprised to find a
large purple parrot in the seat next to him.
The aircraft takes off and a pretty flight attendant walks down the
aisle past the man and his seat mate.
"Hey, wintch," says the parrot, "bring me a whiskey and soda, and make
The FA looks annoyed, but walks on. A minute later, she walks back up
the aisle, and the parrot pipes up again:
"You lazy wintch, where's my whiskey? Hurry it up!"
Visibly flustered, the FA hurries up the aisle and returns quickly
with the parrot's drink.
Impressed with the parrot's technique, the man decides to get some
quick service for himself.
"Hey, slut," says the man, "get me a dry martini. And don't drag your
sorry butt - I want it right now!"
The FA turns red with anger and runs to the front of the plane.
She returns with the First Officer and two burly male flight attendants.
The crewmen seize the passenger and the parrot, jerk open the
emergency door, and hurl them both out of the airplane at 20,000 feet.
As the two hurtle out the door, the parrot says to the man, "Ya know,
for someone who can't fly, you got a lotta balls"