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post #1 of 8 Old 09-07-2007, 07:27 AM Thread Starter
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5 Minute Management Course

5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE


Lesson 1:


A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that
towel."

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with
your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing
her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After
controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide
up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, opportunities for advancement
will pass right by you.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."


"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii ,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit
saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top
of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of
the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull **** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 6:

A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
there, a cow came by and **** on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following
the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who ****s on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep ****, it's best to keep your mouth shut!


THIS CONCLUDES THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT TRAINING COURSE

2001 F350, Lariat SC LB 4X4 PSD
Quadzilla Commander
Zoodad with Stealth Screen


National Hot Rod Diesel Association

The Org. Staff reserves the right to move, modify, delete or merge posts at our discretion and without explanation.



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post #2 of 8 Old 09-07-2007, 07:58 AM
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That just funny there!

2001 Ford F-350 Crew Cab 4X4
7.3L w/Built-up A/T w/billet Torque Conv.
4 inch SkyJacker lift w/35 inch AT's on Weld Wheels
Diablo Sport Predator Programmer
40,60,85, and tires gone!!(100hp)
4inch Farmboy Exhaust (No Muffler ), 10K Mod, Dfuser TC Lock-up Mod,
AIH and EBPV delete, MAP fooler,Glow Shift Gauges (EGT, Boost, Tranny)
Zoodad and Tymar DIY intake, CCV re-routed
More to come

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post #3 of 8 Old 09-07-2007, 08:02 AM
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HaHaHa good ones Tiff

2002 F-250 4x4 EC, SRW, SB
Auto 93,000 miles
DP Tuner F5
ATS Compressor and 1.0 Exhaust housing high flow back plate
Turbo Back 4" Silverline Exhaust Mbrp Muffler Delete
Isspro Trans,Pyro,Boost Triple Pod
Fumoto Oil Drain Valve
AIH Delete With Boost Fitting

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post #4 of 8 Old 09-07-2007, 08:04 AM
Thats Mr. Oil Leak.....

 
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hahaha

John Wayne
Owner and Operator of the
REDNECK VALDEZ
You can find me on FaceBook
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post #5 of 8 Old 09-07-2007, 08:08 AM
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good stuff rite there!!!!


'03 F250 Lariat FX 4X4 cc 7.3L gray/black
Fluidampner
Standcor GPR
ALL Thanks to Raul at http://www.stealth-automotive.com/
Superlift 2.5 leveling kit
Warn Premium hubs
Superlift dual SS streering stabilizer
EBC cross drilled & slotted, w EBC Green Stuff pads
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post #6 of 8 Old 09-07-2007, 08:10 AM
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words to live by.


Zane
04 CC longbox 6spd
SCT with Eric & Doug's tunes
Airraid intake 4" strait pipe
380hp & 850ftlb
4" lift with 315/75/16
bedliner liner on rocker panels
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post #7 of 8 Old 09-07-2007, 11:29 AM
Is it even worth it???



 
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Dang Tiff.. you are on a roll today.. keep em coming.. soon enough somebody here in the office is gonna be sticking their head in asking what I'm laughing about!!!

ABOBB
Aaron A. Bobb
abobb@powerstroke.org

2002 F-250 SD ExCab, Short Bed, PSD, Auto trans, 4X4
Custom tuned 6 position Chip
Whelen CSP690 Strobe Kit (Installed @ Feb Indy Strokers Rally... Thanks Adam), ZooDad Mod
COMING ATTRACTIONS:

Heated Side Mirrors, Owner Built Rear Airbag System
Owner Built Front Bumper, Owner Built Tymar Intake
Owner Built Custom Exhaust, Rear Roll Pan?


]
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post #8 of 8 Old 09-07-2007, 12:59 PM
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That was great especially the Psalm 129

T.J.
2003 F-350 dually 6.0
Centennial Edition
Straight exhaust 34x10.50 Swampers on Black Rock Stars



Been a member longer than most of the moderators
Thats why I said most Tiff


Think you can trust the government? Ask an American Indian!

My old truck in action
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