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08-17-2007, 05:49 AM
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Guides to english
THE MANS GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now Do what you want = You'll pay for this later We need to talk = I need to complain Sure...Go ahead = I don't want you to I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? I'm not emotional! And I'm not over reacting! = I've got my period Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.] Yes = No No = No Maybe = No I'm sorry = You'll be sorry Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it Was that the baby?= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook? THE ANSWER TO A FEMALE SAYING "WHAT'S WRONG?"..... The same old thing = Nothing Nothing = Everything Everything = My PMS is acting up Nothing, really = It's just that you're such a pain in the butt I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam THE WOMEN'S GUIDE TO MEN'S ENGLISH "I'm hungry" = I'm hungry "I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy "I'm tired" = I'm tired "Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you "Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you "May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage! "You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you "What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this "What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? "What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question "I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex? "I love you" = Let's have sex now "I love you, too" = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now! "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = I liked it better before "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = $50 and it doesn't look any different! "Let's talk" = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys "I like that one better" (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!!! 
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08-17-2007, 05:52 AM
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Good one!
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08-17-2007, 05:53 AM
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Hahahahaha.......ain't that the truth
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08-17-2007, 06:27 AM
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So true!! haha
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08-17-2007, 06:33 AM
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Quote:
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08-17-2007, 06:41 AM
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That is good, I have one that needs to be in THE MANS GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH.
"I don't know if I want to ..." =Can't you see, I made up my mind.
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08-17-2007, 11:51 AM
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That stuff is pretty real!
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08-17-2007, 07:59 PM
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Fella's; since there are visiters of the other species on this site at times, I am not even going to comment on these defininitions. Leastwise that they may find out who I am. But you did forget one about listening. It usually starts out: Do you hear me? You answer: Yes, I hear you. Then comes the question. But are you listening to me? At that point its all over but her shouting!
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08-17-2007, 08:12 PM
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I love this one:
Guy - "Baby, what do you wanna do?" Girl - "I don't care" (Which we all know really means "You have to guess exactly what I want to do, and I'm not going to tell you. If your wrong, it's all over buddy!")
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08-17-2007, 08:19 PM
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true true and true
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