Ok, Let's see your best one liners

[Big AL]

Instead of getting married again, I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

[Diesel Nick]

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.

[Diesel Nick]

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

[Diesel Nick]

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

[Diesel Nick]

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.


Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.


How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."

[Diesel Nick]

How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.


Why do men pass gas more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to

Build up the required pressure.


If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.


Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.


In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

[DIESEL RACER]

What do you call a woman with one leg?
Ilene

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your front porch?

Matt

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob

[DIESEL RACER]

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

[DIESEL RACER]

How can you tell when a fax has been sent from a blonde?

There's a stamp on it.

[Lonno]

Whats a blondes' favorite earings?


Her ankles.