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Humor Jokes, Darwin Awards, Funny Vids and Pics - Keep 'em within the Powerstroke.org conduct

 
       

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Old 04-10-2007, 04:59 AM
stroker27 stroker27 is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SLC, Utah
Posts: 459
♦man rules♦

The Guys' Rules********************
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules "
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Old 04-10-2007, 05:12 AM
Dave Dave is online now
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Thats pretty good and mostly true
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Old 04-10-2007, 05:26 AM
kefier2001 kefier2001 is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Where the Navy sends me!
Posts: 400
That is good stuff there!!
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Old 04-10-2007, 05:30 AM
quick26 quick26 is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Elizabeth City
Posts: 975
good post, some good reading
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Old 04-10-2007, 05:49 AM
stump0331 stump0331 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Shreveport, LA
Posts: 14,438
i need to make that wall paper
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Old 04-10-2007, 08:40 PM
owtcast owtcast is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Beaumont, Texas
Posts: 1,498
Quote:
Originally Posted by stump0331 View Post
i need to make that wall paper
I'm sure SHE could find a place for you to stick it too.

Make two... I'm gonna need one also.
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Old 04-10-2007, 08:55 PM
Hayman Hayman is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Silver Lake Or.
Posts: 783
Pretty good
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Old 04-11-2007, 09:14 AM
Banshee34 Banshee34 is online now
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Oregon
Posts: 10,402
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Old 04-11-2007, 09:38 AM
bigcountrysg bigcountrysg is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Willis, MI
Posts: 6,453
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Just to clear something up. Christopher Colombus did need directions. He found America by mistake thinking he went all the way around the world. When he in fact only went about 1/4 way.

Other then that pretty funny stuff just don't let my wife see this.
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Old 04-30-2007, 01:02 AM
straycat straycat is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Surrey B.C. Canada
Posts: 4,531
Love it, thats great hahaha.
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