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Why I never play golf with the wife.
A man woke up in a hospital with a nurse standing over him.
"How do you feel?" asked the nurse.
"My head hurts terribly." was the answer.
"How many fingers do you see?"
"Do you know who you are?"
"Sure, I'm Ralph Smith."
"Mr. Smith," the nurse asked, "What is the last thing you remember?"
"I remember that I was playing golf with my wife. I had just hit a beautiful shot straight down the fairway. My wife tee'd up her ball, took a swing, shanked her ball into a cow pasture, and I heard a cow moo loudly. We went to look for her ball in the pasture, but couldn't find it. I noticed that a cow kept twitching her behind, so I went to inves- tigate. I lifted the cow's tail, and right there under it was a golf ball. I turned around to my wife, pointed at the cow's rear-end, and said, 'Hey, Honey. This looks just like yours.' "And that, nurse is the last thing I remember."
There are 3 kinds of people in this world:
The ones that make things happen,
The ones that watch things happen,
And the ones that wonder what the Hell just happened!