How to tell the Front of a Tree - Ford Powerstroke Diesel Forum
Humor Jokes, Darwin Awards, Funny Vids and Pics - Keep 'em within the Powerstroke.org conduct

Powerstroke.org is the premier Diesel Truck Forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 07-17-2009, 06:36 AM
Compression Ignition Addict
 

Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Washington/Evansville, IN
Posts: 265
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
How to tell the Front of a Tree

A REDNECK FROM TENNESSEE DECIDES TO TRAVEL ACROSS THE SOUTH
TO VIRGINIA TO SEE GOD'S COUNTRY. WHEN HE GETS TO FRANKLIN , HE LIKES THE PLACE SO MUCH THAT HE DECIDES TO STAY. BUT FIRST HE MUST FIND A JOB!

HE WALKS INTO THE INTERNATIONAL PAPER COMPANY OFFICE AND FILLS OUT AN APPLICATION AS AN EXPERIENCED LOG INSPECTOR. IT'S HIS LUCKY DAY!!! THEY JUST HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE, BUT FIRST, THE LOG FOREMAN TAKES HIM FOR A RIDE INTO THE FOREST IN
THE COMPANY PICKUP TRUCK TO SEE HOW MUCH HE KNOWS.

THE FOREMAN STOPS
THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND POINTS AT A TREE 'SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE? I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT SPECIES IT IS AND HOW MANY BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IT CONTAINS.' THE REDNECK PROMPTLY ANSWERS, 'THAT THAR'S A WHITEPINE, 383 BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IN 'ER.'

THE FOREMAN IS IMPRESSED!
HE PUTS THE TRUCK IN MOTION AND STOPS ABOUT A MILE DOWN THE ROAD. HE POINTS AT ANOTHER TREE THROUGH THE PASSENGER WINDOW AND ASKS THE SAME QUESTION. THIS TIME, IT'S A BIGGER TREE OF A DIFFERENT CLASS.

'THAT'S A LOBLOLLY PINE AND SHE'S GOT ABOUT 456 CLEAR BOARD FEET.'

THE FOREMAN IS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE GOOD OL' BOY, HE HAS BEEN QUICK AND GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT WITHOUT USING A CALCULATOR!

ONE MORE TEST. THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD, AND THE FOREMAN STOPS AGAIN. THIS TIME, HE POINTS ACROSS THE
ROAD THROUGH HIS DRIVER SIDE WINDOW AND SAYS, 'AND WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE?'

BEFORE THE FOREMAN FINISHES POINTING, THE REDNECK SAYS, 'WHITE
OAK, 242 BOARD FEET AT BEST.'

THE FOREMAN SPINS THE TRUCK AROUND AND HEADS BACK TO THE OFFICE A LITTLE TICKED OFF BECAUSE HE THINKS THE RED NECK IS
SMARTER THAN HE IS. AS THEY NEAR THE OFFICE, THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK AND SKS BUBBA TO STEP OUTSIDE.

HE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS HIM, 'SEE THAT TREE OVER
THERE?' 'I WANT YOU TO MARK AN X ON THE FRONT OF THAT TREE!!'

THE FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, 'IDIOT, HOW WOULD HE KNOW WHICH IS THE FRONT OF THE TREE?'

WHEN BUBBA REACHES THE TREE, HE GOES AROUND IT IN A CIRCLE WHILE LOOKING AT THE GROUND. HE THEN REACHES UP AND PLACES A WHITE X ON THE TRUNK.

HE WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN AND HANDS HIM THE CHALK. 'THAT THAR'S THE FRONT,' THE REDNECK SAYS.THE FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF AND ASKS SARCASTICALLY, 'HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF THE TREE?'

THE GOOD OL' BOY LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET, WHILE RUBBING THE TOE OF HIS LEFT BOOT CLEANING IT IN THE GRAVEL AND REPLIES, 'CUZ SOMEBODY TOOK A SH!T BEHIND IT.

HE GOT THE JOB AND IS NOW THE FOREMAN!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
  #2  
Old 07-17-2009, 09:48 PM
Banned

 

Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Bryan/College Station/Tyler, TEXAS
Posts: 26,362
Thanks: 8
Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts
Feedback Score: 1 reviews
LMAO!!!!! .
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
  #3  
Old 07-18-2009, 06:02 AM
Compression Ignition Addict
 

Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: earth
Posts: 269
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Ford Powerstroke Diesel Forum forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 04:59 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.1
Garage Plus, Vendor Tools vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.

vB.Sponsors