best craigslist ad EVER!!!
you guys got to check this one out. haha, this guy could sell anything. i took a screen shot of the post in case this dream sells and the seller takes the ad down haha.
Powerstroke big black F350 Dreams come true
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Its big and its black... I could end the description there but let me tell you a thing or two more. Right now its rolling on 39.5 inch IROKs with tons of tread left. So much tread in fact I should mark up the price 2 grand. The powerplant is the bulletproof 7.3 POWERSTROKE. Its bombproof. It says so in the bible. Its also equipped with the ultra desirable six speed transmission. This thing will pull a tank out if a tank ever got stuck. You could pull horses, equipment, or you could do what I did with it... pull babes. And the best part is only fit chicks can jump high enough to get in. Whats that? Your a chick looking for a rig? Fancy this... every cowboy will be ashamed that you have a bigger one than him.
Must be your lucky day, because Im gonna throw in an extra set of wheels and tires. what could they be? I was rockin 37 inch hummer tires. But I grew up, became a real man and thats why Big Black is rockin the IROKS. So you get an extra set of meats to do with whatever your heart desires
Excuse me, do you smoke? Hell yea this bad mamma jamma will roll coal. Is that a prius driver you see shaking his head at you? Thank goodness for you. You have the option of making his day way worse, because this tuned diesel is guaranteed to paint any prius a (coal colored) flat black as soon as you pass the tree hugger.
Look, I could blow smoke about this beast all day but you just gotta get in it and take it for a romp. Come write a check and snap some necks, because no one cant look when you rumble by.
Seven grand of your money cash and this monster can be all yours.
Shoot me a text or gimme a call.
412 four four 3 1038
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Lol i was just gonna do a thread about this guy selling his 78 bronco since he was going to the navy. Here goes
This thing is a beast. My neighbor who's from Iceland, who used to body build and was #6 in the world while Arnold Schwarzenegger was #1, is impressed and calls it, "The Bull". It's not for everyone though...
If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on Facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and ***** a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bull**** job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a Bieber album, white Oakleys, Affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid ****: THIS IS YOUR FORD.
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fence line do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?
If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR FORD.
It's in the stage right now where you can turn it into a nice restoration, or a badass mud truck to tear **** up in at Redneck Yacht Club/Mudjam/Devi's Garden/etc. Your call. Either way you'll have them *****es flocking to you for a "ride".
I'm open to offers, just no low ballers.
-If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number].
Want a cheap car? Get that lowered tuner piece of **** Honda project down the road.
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.
"No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?"
-That's great, I don't give a ****. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $5000.
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this big ol' beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it. But the Navy will most likely station me in butt ****ing Egypt so it will just sit around.
So if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an ******* - then no sale.
I will NOT take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note.
If you ask, I will kindly give you a ball pein hammer to the forehead.
I only deal in Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.
Sent from AutoGuide.com Free App
|The Following User Says Thank You to Ricemiester For This Useful Post:|
This thread is TOO damn much not to subscribe to. Do we have a forum for things like this - if not I'll create one.
I found one!
I should start by saying that if you are looking for a "Pajama party Barbie truck" you my friend, should keep looking. If you are looking for a short description of to the beast before you, I can offer you two words "MEAT & POTATOES". This is the All American chariot of the free world.
You are not dealing with any ordinary, cookie cutter truck son. This thing was forged from a single block of all American Tungsten Steel. Real sturdy! From that day forward my life has never been the same. pull yourself off that couch and see if you can handle this ford f250 7.3.
So if you are looking for a rice burning hatch back, a solar powered liberal mobile, or even a Hyundai crossover keep on looking my friend this thing is a piece of red white and blue Americana Machinery.
This baby's pulse is pumping 7.3 liters of uncensored raw fuel through her v8 nuclear power plant. And rest assured this is no metro feminine automatic. . .you command her to obey, with your calloused hand planted firmly on the shifter. And she will obey, the first time, every time. If you can't handle your stick shifter, or reach the clutch pedal, you better not ferry skip over here wanting to test drive her. If you stall her out, you can count on getting hit in the face with a piece of re-bar and sent back where you came from.
It has A/C but are you kidding me. . ..Really! If you want to blow the sweat off your brow, you do it the old fashioned way: windows down. "What if it rains?". . .You whiney *****! I told you to stop reading. . . Any man who drives this beast doesn't give a damn about rain. Not even skin melting acid rain, Cause he's already dripping wet in blood, sweat, dip spit, and fish guts.
If you are looking for the kind oftruck that has to be pansy parked in the garage, so the "bed doesn't get wet and soggy" Then you should plant your Obama sticker on some Japanese piece of ****. Cause this thing has drain holes in the floor and rhino lined to let the blood drain out from the buffalo you just killed, with your bare hands. Because you are William Wallace from Braveheart and when you get home you can leave your "sissy sponge glove car wash kit" in the pink bucket it came in. Go ahead and spark up your 6000 psi heated pressure washer on the dually trailer in your man cave, cause you are Tim Gillespie and you can pressure wash your truck on the inside.
And forget about putting one of those " big cummins" stickers on this machine cause when you're spotted in this American Classic there will be no questions, no further explanation required, people will understand and get out of your way. . . . .real quick.
If you think you're ready to park this panty hauler on your tract of land. If you buy this truck you better go get your old lady ready for some damn changes around your lair, cause this **** will be happening. What will be Happening? Glad you asked. . ..
1. More chest hair.
2. You're growing a beard.
3. Meat Only Diet.
4. T-Rex for a pet.
5. You're taking a job at the lumber mill.
6. Your car carries five kegs.
7. Penis enlargement.
8. Catch more fish.
9. Wire bristled toothbrush.
10. Sex in the yard.
11. Sex in the garage.
12. All male offspring.
13. Chiseled jaw line.
14. Not giving a damn.
15. Flesh turning to steel.
16. Higher salary
18. Better looking wives.
19. Better looking mistresses.
20. More golfing
21. More killing stuff.
22. More dead animals in the KITCHEN freezer.
23. More tools in your garage.
24. Bigger TV
25. Wife takes out the trash
26. Four Wheel Drive
27. Wife brings trash can in from road.
28. Wife stops *****ing about clothes on floor.
29. Wife stocks fridge with beer.
30. Chuck Norris.
31. John McCain
32. Steaks for dinner.
33. Winning the Lottery.
34. Women on the side.
35. Wrestling with bea
36. Building **** out of stone.
37. Riding Lawn Mower.
38. Bon Fires in cul-de-sac.
39. Bar Fights.
40. Wife picks you up from Thee Gentlemen's Club.
41. Craftsman Tools.
42. Jay Bisset.
43. Welding stuff.
44. Digging holes.
45. Huge Piece of meat.
Sounds good doesn't it?
This truck has carried me through 8,000 miles of battlefield twice as gruesome as the second half of the movie "300″. . ..And just like a trusty steed this juggernaut has never left me stranded. If you think you've worn her out you drag this beast back to me in any condition. And Ill handle the rest.
But if you think you're going to get to whip this mule you better pony up Three Thousand Dollars. . .American Cash. I'm not selling you this truck unless you are clearly a pure blooded American Species, so don't even think about it.