Lol i was just gonna do a thread about this guy selling his 78 bronco since he was going to the navy. Here goes
This thing is a beast. My neighbor who's from Iceland, who used to body build and was #6 in the world while Arnold Schwarzenegger was #1, is impressed and calls it, "The Bull". It's not for everyone though...
If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on Facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and ***** a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bull**** job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a Bieber album, white Oakleys, Affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid ****: THIS IS YOUR FORD.
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fence line do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?
If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR FORD.
It's in the stage right now where you can turn it into a nice restoration, or a badass mud truck to tear **** up in at Redneck Yacht Club/Mudjam/Devi's Garden/etc. Your call. Either way you'll have them *****es flocking to you for a "ride".
I'm open to offers, just no low ballers.
-If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number].
Want a cheap car? Get that lowered tuner piece of **** Honda project down the road.
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.
"No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?"
-That's great, I don't give a ****. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $5000.
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this big ol' beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it. But the Navy will most likely station me in butt ****ing Egypt so it will just sit around.
So if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an ******* - then no sale.
I will NOT take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note.
If you ask, I will kindly give you a ball pein hammer to the forehead.
I only deal in Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.
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