Just thought I'd update in case anyone else runs into this. I did kill the pump and the converter hub. So, new converter, new pump, new filter (already had it, so why chance it), and new flexplate (swear it's deformed but couldn't be sure, so not chancing it) and I'm back in business
1. Pull the transmission, drain it, and remove pan.
2. Remove transmission filter, and make sure the orange rubber comes out on it.
3. Stand trans up on end so the bellhousing is pointing straight up.
4. Remove all 9 pump bolts.
5. Thread in larger metric bolts for a few turns in the two threaded holes where you removed pump bolts (7 holes are unthreaded, 2 are threaded). The bolts from the transfer case to the extension housing fit perfectly.
6. Using a slide hammer alternate single pulls on the two bolts while holding the input shaft to keep it from moving.
7. Pump should come right out. Make sure that's all that comes out.
8. Replace the gasket under the pump.
9. Install new pump making sure gasket remains in place and holes line up.
10. Install the 9 pump bolts and torque to 23 ftlbs.
11. Install new filter and pan.
12. Put the trans back in making sure the new converter hits all three engagements this time. Place a straightedge across the face of the bellhousing - it should NOT contact the converter pilot. If it does then it's not engaging the pump correctly. And of course, bolt the bellhousing up, torque it down, and make sure the converter can still roll around freely.